boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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