remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
