just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
