We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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