he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I pour the whiskey from now on
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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