Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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