any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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