is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
