just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
