Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
