Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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