Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
