i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
