what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
