Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
