I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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