I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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