Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
