Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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