The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
