she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize