we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
what day is it and did you see me today?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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