just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
