WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
