I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
