Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize