dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
