okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
