So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
