you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
