I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
