we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
