JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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