And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize