Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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