I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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