ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
