When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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