im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
