did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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