I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
