i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
