How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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