We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
