im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize