A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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