Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
