i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I wear drunk well.
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