Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize