xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
