I accidentally had phone sex last night
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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