I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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