Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
