i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
