Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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