I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
