i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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