he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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