So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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