why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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