using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
