Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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